


forget about the stuff, they've got more than enough, they thought of everything

by slashmania



Series: their love is just so Ludo [8]
Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - High School, Drugs, F/M, First Dates, Girls on Trampolines, Happy Fourth of July!, M/M, Party, hitting trees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 14:59:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15173192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slashmania/pseuds/slashmania
Summary: “Your face doesn’t know how to say it’s twenty-one. Your face can’t lie. You’re all boyishly-handsome. Later, when you finally get enough facial hair to bother shaving, you’ll shave once and you’ll revert back to your boyishness and no one will ever sell you alcohol. Like ever.”





	forget about the stuff, they've got more than enough, they thought of everything

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Fourth of July! This is a story completely taken from "Girls on Trampolines" by Ludo. Listen to it. LISTEN TO IT! Its catchy and ridiculous!

“Does my face say I’m twenty-one?”

Arthur was critically looking at his features in a mirror. Cobb was still lying on Arthur’s bed moodily squinting at the ceiling. He'd already had two beers but wasn't happy. He was the opposite of buzzed. He was just a downer.

“Your face doesn’t know how to say it’s twenty-one. Your face can’t lie. You’re all boyishly-handsome. Later, when you finally get enough facial hair to bother shaving, you’ll shave once and you’ll revert back to your boyishness and no one will ever sell you alcohol. Like _ever_.”

Arthur took his attention away from his disappointingly boyish reflection to look at Cobb over his shoulder and frown.

“She’ll be there, Cobb. I promise you, Mal is going to be there. It’s a Fourth of July party. She’s definitely invited; you’ll see each other from across the room and fall into each other’s arms and she’ll probably forgive you for whatever bone-headed thing you’d said.”

Cobb curled on his side to face away from Arthur. Even the arch of Cobb’s back was moody.

“But I don't even know what that was! I need more alcohol for this, Arthur. I don’t care whether or not your face says you’re twenty-one. Your fake id already says that you’re twenty-one. Do we have enough?”

Arthur grabbed his phone and checked for an answer to his text. He was waiting. He was waiting for confirmation of the location of what was supposed to be the _best_ Fourth of July party ever.

If Party Guy wasn’t overselling it, that is.

The answer finally came. The blessed text said the party was behind the Burger King. Arthur sent another asking if they should bring anything.

The reply was immediate.

“Well?” Cobb asked, half-halfheartedly unfurling himself from his spot on Arthur’s bed.

“They thought of everything,” Arthur said, still scanning the text message, smiling in spite of himself. “They’ve tapped ten kegs since 9:15. And Cobb, please don’t get too excited now, okay? I've saved the best for last.”

Arthur actually waited for his best friend’s response before revealing the part he _knew_ he’d like best. Arthur was a good friend. A bit sarcastic at times, but either way he was still the nicest friend Cobb had. Arthur felt he was qualified for the title of Nice Guy.

“I’m not excited. Go ahead and try to excite me.”

“They’ve got girls on trampolines, Cobb. Who knows, maybe Mal would like that sort of thing.”

Cobb nearly jumped from the bed, grabbing his coat, and getting ready to sweep out the door with Arthur at his heels.

“Okay, I’m excited. Let’s go!”

Though Arthur followed him out he did it at a respectable pace. He may not have been super excited about girls on trampolines, but he knew his date would love them.

Correction, he’d love the trampolines, not the girls.

Ugh, if Arthur was wrong about that this would be a horrible first date with Eames.

* * *

Arthur sent another text to Party Guy saying that they were interested, it definitely sounded like their scene, but they also didn’t have a ride.

It turned out that Party Guy had connections.

It also turned out that Party Guy wasn’t a guy. Arthur found that out when he called Party Guy’s number, feeling like a caveman or his father. Maybe both. Who called anyone anymore?

“I’m breaking gender norms left and right, Arthur,” Ariadne, known as Party Guy by people trying to party, but whose secret was hidden beneath her mild-mannered student exterior. And the fact that not many people called her and had the chance to hear a distinctly female voice on the line. “So I’m Party Guy to most, but not to you. And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”

“Is that Ariadne? Is she mocking us with lines from Scooby Doo?” Cobb was leaning heavily against Arthur’s side, drinking a beer he’d either made appear like magic, or took from Eames, who had shown up with a six pack just as Cobb walked out of Arthur’s house.

Cobb was close enough to Arthur to hear bits and pieces of the conversation, so while Cobb got to blink at the voice he heard from the cell phone, Arthur took a chance to smile unabashedly in Eames’s direction. Eames didn’t look even a little bit annoyed that Arthur was supporting Cobb’s weight already, that the blonde was now attempting to take Arthur's phone away so he could talk to Ariadne.

It was getting late and they couldn't just stand outside of Arthur's house, sharing beers, and listening to Ariadne quote Scooby Doo. They needed a ride.

"I've got a guy who could give you a ride to Burger King," Ariadne assured Arthur once he finally got the phone away from Cobb and sort of nudged him in Eames's direction so one could help the other stand mostly upright. When they made the trade, Eames winked at Arthur and began telling Cobb a motivational story to perk him up.

"Are you going to call this person Ride Guy?" Arthur asked Ariadne.

"...maybe?"

"And is Ride Guy really Yusuf?"

Ariadne was silent for a second. Then she cursed. "Yes! Just call Yusuf and he'll come and give you guys a lift to the party."

* * *

 

When Yusuf sighed for the fifth time after picking them up and driving away, Arthur had to ask what the problem was.

"We're sorry to bother you," Arthur said. "Cobb just needs to get to this party to have his chance to apologize to Mal. Me and Eames just want to hang out."

"I'd like to hang out and have a first date with Arthur," Eames added from the cramped backseat, sitting in between Arthur and the guy who was already in the backseat when Yusuf pulled up. He perked up when he heard Eames say the word _date_.

"Hell of a first date," commented Nash (or Weed Guy, as Arthur silently dubbed him when he noticed how the guy kept checking and rechecking his little baggie of marijuana). 

Eames couldn't physically turn to look at him, tightly wedged in as they were, but he did slightly turn his head and lean into the wiry drug dealer. "You're just jealous! I get to go on a date with the most attractive man in this car. I also get to go to a party that has trampolines."

Nash wasn't impressed, but Arthur didn't expect Nash to be impressed. Yusuf was interested, though.

"Huh, Ariadne didn't mention the trampolines! That kind of sounds fun-"

In the front seat, Cobb was working his way through another beer, but seriously where was he finding them? The six pack Eames brought had been put in the trunk, and Arthur hadn't seen another bottle exchanged between Eames and Cobb before the man called shotgun.

"Yusuf, just drive us there and stop talking about it! I want to get there!"

Cobb was now on his way to being drunk. The closer he got to being drunk, the closer he got to being a douche bag. The trick of dealing with Cobb and alcohol is usually to carefully monitor consumption then force him to drink water at intervals. Monitoring consumption was out the window now, so Arthur reached around the front passenger seat to nudge Cobb with a bottle of water.

"Drink the water, Cobb. We'll get there soon. I'll give you mints before we get out of the car."

"Because I can't kiss Mal hello if I've been drinking?"

"Well, you could, but it wouldn't be very nice. You've got enough work ahead of you with that apology."

Cobb drank the water, pausing in between gulps to say what a great guy Arthur was.

Arthur ignored that and began to tell Yusuf about the party. "Ten kegs have already been tapped and there's girls on trampolines."

"I would love to jump on a trampoline," Eames added. "Maybe me and Arthur can score some time on a trampoline if the girls get tired."

Arthur smiled for Eames. "It does sound pretty fun."

"See, I told you going on a date tonight wouldn't be a bad idea!"

"Still sitting up here wanting details about a party I'm driving you to!" Yusuf called from the front as he took another turn.

"That's about it," Arthur said with a shrug. "There's lots and lots of alcohol and there will be girls on trampolines. I'm sure there's bouncing. Maybe some sort of games to make it less about objectifying anyone?"

"But what sort of games?"

Arthur began to describe some, half listening as Nash bothered Eames about letting him see his fake id. Eames did. He was very proud of his fake id.

"The games could be anything really. Corn in the Cornfield, Game of Tramp, Make a Move, Stealthy Ninjas, One-Two-Three-SIT!, and Cherry Bomb. I may have read a wikiHow to prepare."

"You're perfect, Arthur," Eames said, leaning against Arthur and pressing a kiss against his cheek. "We're going to have so much fun tonight!"

Nash handed back Eames's fake id. He was thoroughly unimpressed. "That name is ridiculous."

"If we were close friends I'd tell you that the guy who made that fake id didn't even believe that _Eames_ is my real name."

Nash developed a sort of pinched look. "But we aren't friends."

"I won't argue against that," Eames said in a tone that explained how little that bothered him. They didn't hang out. The most intimate interaction they'd had was sitting Yusuf's cramped backseat.

Then he returned his attention to Arthur. "Why don't you tell Yusuf about your favorite trampoline game? I'm sure you've found one that you're going to try when we get the chance, right?"

So Arthur began to describe how One-Two-Three-SIT! works. How three people timed jumps where they landed in a sitting position, till their combined weight forced them to bounce higher and higher. "It'll feel like you're flying for a second or two. It would be a pretty cool way to watch the fireworks."

Nash rolled his eyes because he was close enough to see and not be impressed by how lovey-dovey Arthur and Eames were. Nash went back to checking his weed.

But up in the front seat Cobb was starting to get a little green. Maybe it was the talk of trampolines, or bouncing, or love. Who knew?

Either way, Cobb heaved, shocking the hell out of Yusuf who tried to move himself out of the way as Cobb attempted to throw up on the gearbox.

Yusuf swerved and crashed into a tree.

Cobb missed the gearbox and puked on Eames's lap.

Nash's weed went spilling everywhere when he tried to open the door to get away from the mess Cobb made.

Three officers who witnessed the accident pulled up behind Yusuf's car and took stock of the situation.

Nash became wide-eyed and fearful when the cops noticed the pot seeds at their feet.

* * *

 

They were Officers One, Two, and Three.

They had badges and ticket-pads, guns, and shiny sets of handcuffs. They addressed Yusuf, a still slightly green Cobb, clenched-jawed Arthur, and an intensely disgusted Eames. But they paid special attention to Nash.

Officer Peter Browning (Officer One) said, "Looky here, son," Browning blustered. "I hate minors in possession. I hate speeding. I even hate people who hit trees. And you've done all three in one night!"

Officer Maurice Fischer (Officer Two) looked to Officer Browning and said, "We could take them all in. Can't we? We have possession, we have at least one of them drunk, and they crashed their car."

Eames, still recovering from the shock and disgust from being puked on by Dominic Cobb, whispered to Arthur, "If those two decide to beat us, kill us, and eat us, I just want you to know that this has been a pretty good first date."

Arthur would have answered, but the first two officers looked to the third. They were deferring to Officer Saito.

The officer took his time and examined the situation. He looked at the car, the students, and the tree.

Officer Saito said in a careful, measured tone. "I hear that there's a shindig behind Burger King."

Arthur nodded cautiously.

"And I hear there's girls on trampolines."

Eames also nodded, but added, "Anyone can go on the trampolines, sir. It would be pretty stupid to not let everyone have a go, right?"

Officer Saito nodded. He made his decision pretty quickly. "The tree looks fine and the driver's clean."

Then he walked back to the squad car. Browning and Fischer lingered for a moment, especially on Cobb and Nash, but finally followed after Saito.

* * *

Once they arrived, Cobb stumbled off in search of Mal, clutching his water bottle and the tin of mints Arthur passed him.

Yusuf went to check out the party. Nash left.

It left Arthur and Eames standing by the car going over what just happened.

"When we retell this story, I want to give Officer Saito a ridiculous accent."

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes. Something that fits with his use of the word 'shindig'. His tone was just too calm. Too mellow. I get the feeling he could have just as easily ordered us arrested in the same tone of voice. Considering what really happened, I'd prefer it if his voice had a touch of whimsical oddness to it."

Arthur was still surprised that they hadn't been taken in. That their parents hadn't been called.

"I'm more surprised that Nash wasn't taken in."

Eames agreed. "We could make up a story about Nash going undercover for the police and going to these sorts of parties to trace possible drug dealers and drug users?"

"No clue." Then Arthur looked at the sad state of Eames's pants. "I'm sorry about Cobb."

Eames waved it away. "At least Yusuf wasn't hit. He still had control of the car, so I'll take being puked on if it means I make it to the party in one piece. And here we are behind the Burger King."

Arthur nodded and looked at the line of kegs, the crowd, and of course, the trampolines. Eames was right, they weren't just for the girls. Anyone could enjoy the trampolines.

"Hey, I talked to Yusuf. He said that if you look in the trunk you'll find a pair of sweats that should fit you."

Eames brightened up immediately. "Really? That would be great, darling! I'll go get them now, change, and we can go and have our first date!"

Arthur may not have hugged Eames as close as he would have liked for obvious reasons, but he did kiss him and say, "Happy Fourth, Mr. Eames."

**Author's Note:**

> If you ever listen to the song and hear how the band makes Officer Three sound, you'll get the comment I have Eames make at the end.


End file.
